At my baby’s six-month physical exam, his pediatrician, whom we deeply respect, gently placed him in a seated position to assess his ability to sit unassisted. While it was sweet to see his little rolls and to imagine him sitting, the position felt unfamiliar—and a little unsettling—as we’ve never placed him in any posture he cannot achieve independently. Watching him wobble slightly, on the verge of tipping forward, highlighted how he was not yet confident or fully in control of his body.
“He needs some practice,” the doctor remarked. My husband glanced at me, perhaps silently hoping I wouldn’t launch into an impromptu lecture on natural gross motor development, as detailed by Dr. Emmi Pikler. I simply nodded, smiled, and thanked our pediatrician without elaborating.
Yet, as we walked home, a subtle doubt crept in. Was I hindering my child’s development by not following this advice? Was I being too dismissive of the doctor’s expertise? Was I any different from parents who ignore certain medical recommendations? These questions lingered until I shared them with my wise RIE instructor, who leads our weekly parent-infant guidance class. She responded with compassion, visibly disappointed that our baby had been placed in a sitting position before he could achieve it himself. We spent the rest of the class examining Dr. Pikler’s extensive research on natural gross motor development—a framework derived from observing and documenting thousands of infants over decades. According to Pikler’s charts, the typical age range for unassisted sitting is broad, spanning 6 to 16 months.
Dr. Pikler discovered that babies possess an innate ability to progress toward independent movement without external teaching. She advocated placing infants on their backs on a firm, flat surface to encourage free movement, writing in 1994:
“Children do sit, stand, walk, and move—this is true. But how? … They tire easily. They fall often and clumsily. Quite often they hurt themselves seriously. They do sit, stand, walk, etc., but not really. … We adults are not any better in this respect. We think it is natural that after a one- or two-hour walk we can’t stand on our feet any longer, that after a few hours of sitting we have difficulty moving our stiffened limbs. This is not at all natural. If one sits correctly, sitting is not tiring. If one stands correctly, standing is possible for much longer than we imagine …”
For Dr. Pikler, correct sitting and standing are far more beneficial than early sitting and standing. Together with her protégé Magda Gerber, co-founder of the Educaring™ approach, Pikler emphasized that reaching gross motor milestones early is not a mark of superiority. This notion is often challenging for caregivers to accept, as so much of the modern childcare industry is devoted to “training” infants to sit, crawl, and walk faster.
Pikler also observed that babies who were never placed in a sitting position by adults before they could achieve it on their own almost always crawled before they sat up—a contrast to the common experience among modern parents, who often report that their babies sit before they crawl or sometimes skip crawling altogether. Each baby is born with a unique developmental roadmap, and by interfering, we disrupt the organic learning that takes place from point A to B. For further reading on this natural progression, Dr. Pikler’s own books offer a wealth of insight.
Embracing Natural Gross Motor Development
Adopting Pikler’s philosophy of allowing natural motor development means rethinking many conventional childcare practices:
Placing infants on their backs on a firm, flat surface in a secure area, without pillows.
Avoiding the use of walkers, highchairs, carriers, and slings.
Skipping “tummy time” (this one is contentious and deserves its own post).
Holding infants on our laps during feedings once they start solids, so their backs are supported until they can sit independently.
Limiting time in car seats whenever possible.
Using a pram instead of a stroller seat until the baby can sit unassisted, and using a stroller only when necessary.
Essentially, Pikler’s “freedom of movement” philosophy encourages us to avoid placing infants in any position they cannot reach on their own and to minimize restrictive devices. Though this list may seem daunting, it actually encourages a simpler approach: doing less, buying fewer gadgets, and gaining more peace of mind.
Why, Then, Are We So Anxious to Optimize?
If less is indeed more when it comes to infants’ development, why do we experience such intense pressure to optimize?
Changing Expectations We live in a culture that prides itself in finding solutions for all problems. I, too, am grateful for my electric kettle that boils water in seconds and my pressure cooker that cuts cooking time in half. Yet, when it comes to children’s development, there is no shortcut. Despite the advances around us, human neurobiology is largely the same as it was 250,000 years ago. What has changed is our impatience. If we took a closer look at many of our Google searches, they often reveal our attempts to coax children into maturity prematurely. But as Magda Gerber said, “infancy is a small window of opportunity”—a fleeting phase that deserves our presence and wonder, rather than our attempts to accelerate it.
Self-Worth Optimization can sometimes blur into delusion. Without care, we may tie our self-worth to our child’s developmental progress, reading milestones that aren’t there. “Look, he said ‘Dada’ at four months!”—a feat that’s improbable at best and, even if achieved, unlikely to have meaning. It’s only human to feel proud, but it’s equally human to smile at ourselves and embrace our children as they are.
Creativity vs. Observation In a culture that celebrates problem-solving, it’s easy to feel we should be constantly intervening. I, too, am drawn to problem-solving; it’s part of why I created this blog. But babies with typical development don’t need us to “solve the issue” of movement. They need our careful observation so we can offer them developmentally appropriate objects and environments. While creativity can be self-centered, sensitive observation is about focusing on the observed rather than the observer.
It’s time to stop and wonder why we do what we do. What’s in us that drives our decisions about the care of our babies? Let’s turn down the volume of optimization and study the infants in front us. Let’s learn how to wonder and how to be amazed.
